When we think about the people who shape us, the first category that comes to mind is parents — father and mother. There is an interesting story I often tell people. When I was young, I went to my dad and asked him a question. I said there are two kinds of work: one is easy and you like to do it, and the other is tough and you don’t like to do it. Which one would you take first? My dad said he would take the difficult work that he doesn’t like to do, finish it first, and then move on to the easier work that he enjoys.

I went to my mom and asked her the same question. She told me something that even today, in my work as an agile practitioner, I share with people. She said it doesn’t really matter whether the work is tough or easy, whether you like it or not. What matters is which one is the most important. That, for me, is crucial information when it comes to prioritization.

People all over the world struggle with prioritization. What should I do first? This is especially important in agile practices because there are many factors that decide prioritization. If you have five pieces of work to be completed in a two-week period, which one do you pick first? That way of thinking has shaped a lot of how I look at prioritization and value.

Parents are influencers and shapers not just through what they say, but through how they live, how they look at things, what they do, and what they read. If parents don’t have a habit of reading, the chances are lower that they can promote reading among their kids. Kids will ask why you are not reading. Is it because they don’t have to read when they grow up?

Once, I went to speak at an after-school care center. Parents were present. I asked them how many of them had gone to the library in the last month, and everyone raised their hand. Then I clarified — not for your kids, but for yourself. How many of you went to the library and picked up books to read? About ninety percent of the hands went down. Parents were taking their kids to the library, but they themselves either didn’t have a habit of reading or no longer practiced it.

There are many things parents do without realizing how much it shapes children. Kids observe. They watch. They notice. That is how learning happens.

Then there are caregivers — people who take care of you when you are young. I don’t remember much about who took care of me when I was very small. I know their name and I’ve met them after I grew up, but I don’t remember many interactions. Still, they shaped me in ways I may not consciously remember.

Relatives play a role too. Grandparents, uncles, aunts — all of them shape us. There are so many people related to me who took care of me in one way or another. Even the person who dropped me at school when I was young shaped my identity as I grew up.

A large part of our early life is spent with teachers. Teachers teach subjects, but beyond that, they teach us many other things. There are teachers who are partial, and they teach us how we should not be. There are teachers who react to your mistakes in ways that shape you deeply. Some motivate you, inspire you, tell you that it’s okay to make mistakes and move forward. They shape you positively.

There are also teachers who punish you, and you stand there without knowing why you were punished, what mistake you made, or why the teacher was angry. They shape you too.

Then there are silent influencers — neighbors, the kids we play with, the books we read, the movies we watch, the news we consume, and even total strangers. When you are young and traveling alone, you might start talking to someone on a bus. You learn something from that interaction.

As kids, we are influenced by many things. Even as adults, we continue to be influenced by ideas, thoughts, and philosophies. We trust certain people deeply. We believe some people can never make mistakes and that some people can never do anything right. That whole process shapes how we look at the world.

Not everything that shapes us is intentional. Sometimes when we address a problem or try to find a solution, we don’t explicitly tell people what to do. But people observe. They understand what is happening.

We all have a circle of influence. Whether we are making videos, using social media, writing, or working in an organization, some people have a larger circle of influence than others. And we can all be good or bad influences.

Some things we say can be taken out of context and have a negative influence. That is why I think it is important to remember that when we put something out in public — especially on social media — there are children watching. Ten-year-olds, twelve-year-olds, thirteen-, fourteen-, fifteen-year-olds. This content enters their feed in one way or another.

We need to ask ourselves: does what I say have a positive impact, or could it become a bad influence? When I self-reflect, I realize that there are many things I have said, written, or done that were not necessarily good influences. At the time, we don’t think about it. We go with the flow. We do it.

But once we become a bad influence for someone, there is very little we can do to reverse it. What is done is done.

In today’s interconnected world, where everyone can say anything and post it publicly, there is a huge responsibility on each one of us. As I make this video, that is one thought that stays with me.

Ten years from now, if this channel still exists, and if this content reaches people who don’t know me personally, how will this conversation influence them? For people in their thirties, forties, or fifties, the impact may be limited. But for a fifteen-year-old, a thirteen- or fourteen-year-old, what we say can influence them in good or bad ways. That influence can shape their lives.

So we need to be responsible about what we create, the messages we send, and the ideas we promote.

You guys take care. If you haven’t subscribed to the channel, please do. I’ll see you all next week with another topic. Thank you.